3 Responses to Professional Conflict
Over the twenty years of my professional and adult life, I've had a lot of conflicts (as we all have). Don't misunderstand me on this one, I'm not contrary, or conflicting. I'm very agreeable, and only remain steadfast on what I truly believe in.
That said, my conflicts have varied between professional to down right nasty. All of them, however, can be characterized into three main categories, as far as responses to me bringing up the conflict.
People have: Broke off communication, they have lashed out at me, and they have gave in.
Breaking Off
A friend of mine once lead his negotiating team out of the meeting room, and broke off all communication with the other side. That was their calculated response to the conflict. It was a bargaining tactic. Ending the dialog forces the fall back plans. This tactic is effective when the other party doesn't really want to 'Plan B' or doesn't even have a 'Plan B.' My friend was fully prepared to take the alternative to an amicable solution, the other team wasn't.
Lashing Out
The tantrum in the board room often extends beyond interests, and looks to be punitive over conflict in an attempt to resolve feelings of inequality or lack of fairness. Lashing out can be effective when there isn't a strong fallback or walkaway alternative. It's very effective as a negotiation tactic if the other party tends to give in. Often a contest of wills become a contest of egos. To combat Lashing Out, be sure your fallback plan is communicated, and they understand that you are ready to take it.
Giving In
This is an effective tactic for 'picking their battles' or if the negotiation is going to drain too many resources. If they don't have the resources to come to the negotiations prepared to persuade, then their best option might be to give in.
All of these are responses to conflict, and as a negotiator it's important to go beyond those responses and find the proposals that will create win-win solutions.
Remember, listening is the cheapest concession you can make in a negotiation, and it might give you just what you are looking for, a way to create a win-win situation.
